Simply begin again

I've failed. Exactly one year ago today, I wrote A Peek Into My Minimalist Closet, showing off a clean closet following an enormous purge. It was exactly one year ago that I started my minimalist journey, documenting how I spent a whole month cleaning out my house.

I donated over 200 articles of clothing, 30 pairs of shoes, and over 200 books; I sold guitars, amplifiers, a ukulele, a piano, and a bunch of video games. I recycled 7 computers, an iPhone, and two old iPads! And my mind was so free, so liberated.

For several months I lived simply. I ate clean, I traveled, I spent my money on experiences not possessions. I left social media, deleting my Instagram account and leaving behind over 6200 followers. For several months I was so very happy.

Two things happened last year that absolutely rocked my world. They totally threw me. I don't want to go into great detail about either event here—it doesn't matter.

Suffice it to say that both events came out of nowhere. Both events left me questioning nearly everything. Both events had me coping by reaching for the things I knew would only supply momentary happiness devoid of real joy. I wanted to distract myself from having to process my feelings about either event.

As far as I had come rejecting possessions, paying off debts, losing weight, living an experientially and transcendentally rewarding life—I fell so much further back. I reverted to my old habit of trying to fill the void with stuff.

I bought more clothes, I bought more shoes, I bought another couple of electronic devices, I got my very first TV, and a couple of new guitars. I wasn't even really playing out much and yet I bought two new guitars. I tried to justify my behavior to my friends and they all spotted the hypocrisy.

In recent days I've started thinking again—intentionally—about my waste, my impact, my finances, and my possessions. And just yesterday morning I cleaned my house. I'm ready, now more than ever, to return to minimalism and truly practice this lifestyle knowing how wonderful it feels to live intentionally.

So I'm starting the blog back up. I'm also starting a daily journal of my life as a minimalist.

A new start. A new commitment. A new energy. 'Simply begin again' has been my mantra, so I'll make it my theme for this year. That's what I tell myself as I meditate, when my mind begins to wander and I have to force myself to come back to the breath. Simply begin again. Breathe. In, out, in, out. When my mind drifts from the breath, simply begin again.

Feels good to be back.